So… You’ve decided you might be neutral or How to look cool by sitting on the fence

You are here sign with arrows in all directions.

Can’t decide? Why bother trying? Be neutral.

Everyone pestering you to pick a side? Stay neutral. Take your half of the road in the middle. Sure everyone will tell you of the nobility of this or the glory of that or the freedom of one thing or stability of another but really what’s in it for YOU?? It just sounds like a good way to make a commitment you will later regret. Be flexible. That is unless you’d rather not.

Magic

Who ever heard of a spell of “uncommitted’s bane”? or a “sword of indifferent slaying”? Picking sides will only get you into trouble because somebody, somewhere, has come up with some way to hurt you for doing it. If you feel compelled to pick a side just pick one. These’s no point in making yourself vulnerable to two kinds of spell. Don’t forget if you pick a side all of a sudden the clerics and paladins are all up in your business. Wanna keep hidden, secret or just unnoticed? Just remember there’s no “detect apathy” spell.

Neutrality not just for the undecided anymore

Didn’t imagine you could stay out of all the politics of alignment and still be self righteous about it? Well don’t worry, you can. The Druids have turned not picking a side into practically a religion. Ask one of these tree huggers to help your cause and you will get an earful of how they are “True”neutral. Basically this means they don’t give a damn about anything but their grove and nature and maintaining balance and on and on. That is, right up until the day you walking into their woody, wood, woods with an ax looking for a source of lumber. That’s the day you’ll find that this true neutral fellow has picked a side and it sure ain’t yours.

Their ain’t no strings on me

There’s a lot of freedom in not caring about the proper way to act or be or be seen to be. Do what suits you when it suits you. Wanna rescue the princess? Sure, why not, you were bored and the harvest isn’t for another three weeks. There’s money in it right? Grave robbing? They’re dead, they won’t care. It’s okay, you don’t make a habit of this sort of thing. You’ve always been the most law abiding citizen in the county when the sheriff was around. Of course that never stopped you from the poaching the occasional rabbit when the stew pot was empty. There’s no need to follow rules that don’t suit you even rules that say not to follow rules.

Diplomacy, why can’t we all just get along?

The problem about picking a side is that all of a sudden there’s a whole group of people, critters and beings from who knows where, who won’t like you for it. If you are good, along comes some evil creature whose only goal is to screw up your life by tempting you into being evil. Boy then you are in for it. On the other hand, if you are evil, groups of “goody two-shoes” will start showing up looking to either put a sword through you or reform you.

Of course if you just stopping being evil or good that is never enough. Someone will feel they have to either utterly corrupt you or set you on the straight and narrow. Of course, those who think a life of order is just the thing are always trying to get the lawless to apply for a licence for this or that while the wildlings and their chaotic ways are looking to throw off the yolk of oppression. Oh, Lords of Indifference, who needs the aggravation?

The profit of staying out of it

Don’t get dragged into a war fighting for ideology. Stay out of it. Want to sell things to both sides? Can’t do that if you align yourself with some ideology. Be everyone’s friend and make money doing it. You might even make some coin negotiating a treaty. Wouldn’t that be nice?

The best time to be seen on the battle field is right after it’s over and you can go collect all the goodies left on the field. You’ll be much better off not getting killed but rather getting there just in time to grab that “greatsword of other guy slaying” that the winning side couldn’t pick up because it would burn their hand if they tried. Roll that cart home and sell that thing for a couple of thousand gold and retire.

And remember…

All things in moderation, even moderation. Stay safe.

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